me: where am i?
she: in the place u belong
me: where? i can't see anything
she: u're in the darkest nook. how u like it?
me: hmm.. i don't know... it's too dark
she: don't u like dark?
me: yes i do. but it's too dark
she: dark is dark, honey. it's the same
me: but usually i still can see something
she: not here. there's absolutely no light in here
me: am i blind?
she: no u don't. it's just no light at all
me: how can i get here?
she: i take u here cuz i thought u'd love it
she: u like dark... u like all things black...
me: errr...
she: why? u don't like this place?
me: no... but... it's just...
she: it's a perfect place to hide, don't u think?
she: u wanna hide, right?
me: hide from what?
she: everything. everyone. the world.
me: why would i do that?
she: because u wanna disappear
me: not in literally
me: i just... don't like crowds lately
me: i just wanna be alone for a moment
she: relax. just stay here as long as u like
she: i'll take it over from here...

ga sengaja tadi nemu file dokumen yang gue tulis 3 tahun yang lalu.
bacanya bikin gue senyum2 dan sedikit menerawang,
bolak balik ke 3 tahun yang lalu dan sekarang.
haha... funny isn't it?
what a time... it really flies...

anyway, wish you all the best, bro :)



pic: 0305
"nggak lu banget ta, gak pake item"
:P

emptiness
loneliness
sadness
haziness
vagueness
darkness

thoughtless
mindless
restless
sleepless
careless
timeless
heartless
spiritless
aimless

no, i don't

thanks for the information, anyway

ich denke
ich fühle
ich sehe
ich warte
aber ich spreche nicht
...noch nicht

ich ngapain sich....

...untuk nginet
bolak balik dc mulu
koneksi lambatnian
kompie hang
gmail berat, susah dibuka
MP ikut2an berat, suka error
buka yang lain ga kelar2
blank. error. page cannot be displayed...
phew...
matiin aja dulu deh
toh emang lagi banyak kerjaan...

HARI PERTAMA

fokus ta... fokus...
ga usah mikir yg macem2... rugi2in diri sendiri
mending fokus ke ibadah puasa lo
dan berbuat sesuatu utk meningkatkan kualitas puasa lo
ayo ngaji sana!!


HARI KE-2

udahlah ta... kalo ga penting ga usah ngomong
tahaan.. tahaaann... jangan ngerusak puasa elo...
tindakan DIAM elo waktu itu udah tepat
udah ga usah jail ngomong macem2 apalagi nyindir
(tapi elo udah tulis itu 2x di jurnalnya 2 org yg berbeda dg kata2 yg sama. argh!)
sudah sudah jangan ngomong apa2 lagi... meskipun mulut lo gatel pengen ngomong
ayo mendingan fokus kerja, jangan tunda2 lagi!!


*menahan lapar & haus itu sangat gampang ketimbang menahan diri & emosi, ya?

knock! knock!
anybody there?

who is it?

it's me.

come in.
the door is unlocked

i jez wanna drop by
and say hi
how are u?

im doing well. thanks.
how are u?

hmm... quite fine, i guess
it's been a long time, eh?

yea...
please have a sit
make yourself at home
wanna sumthin' to drink?

thanks. i'd love to.
where have u been anyway?

ha? i've been no where
im here. as always

really?
i've been knocking on your door
and calling out your name
some days ago
but no answer

o, yea?
maybe i didnt hear it

u didnt hear it
or u didnt wanna hear it?

why do u say dat?

i knew u're inside
using your headphone

yea.
i was listening to the music
and what's wrong with dat?

it's a trick, rite?
pretending dat u dont hear a thing
u dont wanna be bothered
with anything from outside

im jez doing what i like to do

ofcourse.

something wrong with dat?

nope.

so?

nothing.
jez glad dat u're finally remove
dat goddam headphone
and hear my voice

is dat it's?

glad u're open the door too

*select items. delete*

Are you sure you want to send these items to the Recycle Bin?

[ yes ]

*open Recycle Bin folder. Empty Recycle Bin*

Are you sure you want to permanently delete these items?

[ yes please! absolutely! throw it away! ]

...
...

...then it's empty.

errr.... it should be empty, rite??

ah... rese
tadinya gue udah punya partner
tus krn mereka tertarik
dan terlihat lebih kompeten
partner gue mundur
mereka maju
gue punya tim baru

tapi akhirnya salah satu mundur
dan yang satu hilang entah ke mana
gue kecewa banget
jadi cuma segini doang???

hey partner,
mau jadi partner gue lagi ga?
kita jadi satu tim lagi
spt rencana semula
sebelum ada mereka
reformasi tim jadi dari awal lagi

*sigh*
good luck for both of us
owh... make it three of us
^_^

Gue kehilangan sesuatu…
Sesuatu yang amat besar & berarti.
Jika gue sudah kehilangan itu, gak ada kata kembali.

Gue kehilangan waktu.

Gue terlalu sering menunda suatu pekerjaan, yang kemudian berubah menjadi banyak. Dan ketika gue tunda terus, pekerjaan itu terus bertambah dan berkembang menjadi masalah. Masalah yang besar, jika gue gak segera menyelesaikan itu semua. Dalam waktu yang semakin sempit dan tinggal sedikit.

Sedangkan waktu gak pernah kembali lagi.
Sekarang gue kehilangan.
It’s all my fault…
terlalu menuruti ego & mood gue.

#@%^$!!